Lockdown - Overthinking, Goslings, Socially Isolating Chickens and Stripey Stuff

So, two and a half months since my last blog post. That must be a record. Not one to be proud of I have to say. (I initially wrote 'two and a half moths' until I noticed and corrected it, still, I like the image it throws up. . . )
I suppose the enforced limbo we are all in has eroded any sense of urgency I might have felt. Also, feeling guilty about not posting for weeks doesn't help. How can I possibly post after so long a gap? etc. etc.
Oh well, I am doing it now aren't I?

Scratch design rustic, turned look tube beads

The trouble is, for us, so far this lockdown has actually been rather pleasant, which is something else to feel guilty about. We have had fine weather, a lovely big garden to spend time in, access to pleasant country walks and good, responsible neighbours. I know, sickening. . . And it's so much like the everyday existence of self employed freelancers working from home, which is all I have ever done, that it doesn't even feel even vaguely disconcerting. (OK, the supermarket trip is a bit weird with 2 metre distances and masks etc but everyone is pretty chilled and considerate. I tend to go at 8.30 a.m. to avoid any queues.)

Pleasing shape stripey rounded bicone type beads

I feel guilty mentioning it, which makes no sense really. Feeling guilty doesn't actually help anybody else. You can end up feeling guilty because you feel you ought to, that somehow it's not right not to feel guilty considering the predicament some people find themselves in.  Somehow it's the least you can do. You find yourself feeling guilty for even wanting to not feel guilty. . . Like it's a social responsibility to make yourself suffer because others are suffering. Not that affluent middle class guilt is in any way comparable to real suffering you understand. Anyway, I've been round this convoluted moral dilemma enough times for one blog post so I'll stop wittering on about it. Apart from to say that of course I miss seeing friends and family, I miss pubs, I miss meals out, I miss finding cool things in charity shops and I miss playing music with others, but as long as they are just deferred pleasures and not permanently withdrawn ones I can cope without them.

Extremely bad taste

Obviously we wish the situation was different for those unfortunate enough to have been directly affected by this potentially lethal virus, and send them our sincere sympathy/empathy/thoughts/prayers/support. Meanwhile we will keep our heads down and maintain social distance and all the things a certain government advisor has shamelessly ignored recently. I'm not even going there apart from to say 'Grrrrrrrrrr!'. . .

Distressed blunt ended turned look spike bead

As I am talking about domestic stuff, I'm pleased to say that the two geese have done themselves proud and produced two wonderful, greeny yellow, fluffy goslings. ( I don't have pics, sorry) They have even reinvented themselves as good parents, the goslings are about two and a half weeks old and are thriving, unlike last year when the poor little things lasted two days.

Using some simple digital patterns and upcycled steel split rings

The chickens are also in lockdown. We have confined them to the orchard and the pond area, as they were trashing the spring flowers and threatening the well being of anything that might show it's head in the veg patch. (and pooing everywhere) There is more than enough room for the four of them and they are still amongst the most environmentally fortunate chooks you will ever come across so don't waste any sympathy on them ;-)

Weird conjoined tube bead focal thing

My jewellery components have had a few ups and downs, but that is more to do with general retail variation and the fact that I make different stuff every week which will either tickle someone's fancy or not. Recently things have been going nicely, so that is one more thing that hasn't changed much in this time of lockdown. They say that craft supplies are undergoing a boom as people turn to crafting to alleviate the boredom of lockdown. Not so sure about that in my case as I sell to a variety of repeat customers with only the occasional new buyer appearing. Whatever, I am still busy making stuff, so again, situation almost normal. .

An actual necklace - 'Red Lorry -Yellow Lorry' retro rubber stamp images with nylon garden string. .

I have been experimenting as usual, and producing variations on tried and tested things too. The images throughout this post are in chronological order, (apart from the first one) just showing some of the things I have made and mostly sold in the last two and a half months. Enjoy ;-)

I will post again soon, probably. . . ;-)

best, Jon x

Sideways spikes, like fairgound ride spaceships

Boombox!

Seriously large hole tube beads

Multi blob painted distressed spikes

Image transfer wrapped chunky large hole wooden beads

Face

Stripey painted tube beads - these and others like them have been popular ;-)

These rustic image trans wrapped tubes have been popular too

Stringing things up, Issues with. Advice gratefully received. . .

Well, having created and constructed a good few interesting pendant focal pieces, in my view anyway, I have been mulling over and wrestling with the problem of how to present them as finished necklaces, if that's not too loose a term.

Wire wrapped copper links and jump rings

Simple chain. . .

I can make pendant things that look great on their own, and that are recognisably my work, but as soon as I try to put them on a string/chain/other, they look kind of wrong and somewhat amateurish in a worrying sort of way. It is occurring to me that the choice of stringing/hanging material is a lot more important than I had previously thought. It might just be that am not used to seeing my work in this way, and that I just need to get used to it, but I don't think it's that simple.

Upcycled wire links and industrial style heavy washers

Simple suede cord, titanium clasp - I think this one might actually work

A necklace is a construction in it's own right, I know that, and admire the work of the many necklace constructors whose work I see online etc, but it's hard to echo what they do in my work. By that I mean that the take away I get from others' work is that the combination of beads/items and string/chain/whatever just looks 'right'. It suits their creative identity/aesthetic. The choice of carrier suits the thing carried if you get me drift. I find it hard to find and nail down that relationship in my work. Sometimes sticking something on a chain might work, sometimes something more complex and visually demanding might work too. The issue is working out, or feeling instinctively which approach suits which pendant/bead/etc.

I have made some small progress I think, in that often my work is quite bold and somewhat eccentric, with industrial overtones ;-). Therefore, the choice of 'string' should echo that. To that end I have made chain links out of bits of the wire grid i like to use, from copper wire, and from upcycled steel wire, basically a short length of wire with a loop at each end, which can join onto one or more others. These work OK, but aren't suitable to go round the back of the neck, for comfort and possible allergic reasons. Therefore a piece of chain, suede cord or suchlike needs to be added. This never seems to look quite right to me.

I think I need to accumulate a larger and wider stock of possible stringing material and try things until something 'works' and is identifiably my creative choice and belongs to my aesthetic.

OK, I could spare myself the grief and just sell the pendants themselves, should anyone want them, (and I have done that quite often) but I see my dilemma as a challenge, something I should be able to surmount. Then of course I will have the issue of actually trying to sell the resulting jewellery, but that is something to be addressed when the time comes ;-)

Holding Back and Falling Off a Cliff

This Holiday/Christmas/Other break, as well as being a pleasant bit of family time and chilling out time, has been quite useful as regards the space it provided for contemplation and for gaining perspective about creative work. For me anyway.

I don't feel massively renewed and refreshed necessarily, but I do feel that I've gained a bit of insight into my creative process that might help me, 'going forward' as they say.

I have come to realise that I hold things back. This seems to be out of a sense of anxiety.
It appears that I need to have something 'in reserve' to bring out if 'all else fails'. Something that serves, in my mind at least, as a kind of creative insurance policy. A fence between me and the void. . .
It's not the most sensible thing to do, as whatever it is that I have in reserve may not be the killer sure thing I imagine it to be at all. And if it fails then that's my supposed parachute shot full of holes and me making an unpleasantly close and very swift acquaintance with the cold hard ground. . .

It all comes from fear I think, deep down somewhere there is a fear of . . Well, I'm not sure quite what. Not failure as such, maybe fear of finding out that I was delusional all along and really my work is total rubbish ;-) Or that those that have approved of and followed my work will suddenly realise that they were also delusional. . .
(Actually that fear, at various levels of severity,  is quite common amongst artists I have spoken to over the years. Rationality is not us. . .)

This revelation regarding undue and unnecessary retention of creative work came about from a growing and persistent feeling of being blocked, by myself. Not wanting to make something because it wasn't what I felt I 'should be' making. Or not wanting to put something up for sale as 'nobody would like it' or 'it doesn't feel right' or because now is not the time somehow. Though exactly what I think I am waiting for and why is by no means clear.

(Beware of the concept 'should be', it's you imagining an outside observer judging your behaviour and output. No such judgemental outside entity exists and even if it did, you could never accurately predict such an entity's opinions. So don't go there. . . Easily said mind. .)

This led me to notice that I was holding various components back when making pieces, being retentive about some particular found or made object because whatever idea I had at that moment about how to use it might not be the best use for it. It wouldn't be using it to its best advantage. Maybe I would have a better idea at some amorphous and unspecified time in what is generally known as 'The Future'.
Anyone else do this?

It all comes from a place of fear and lack, as if I will never find or make another object as good. As if the supply of interesting and usable objects in the world will run out, or as if inspiration is actually finite.
This mindset is obviously unhelpful, but thankfully, once noticed can be combatted.

In future, I intend to be less uptight about what I make, I shall use that 'precious' component and then move on. I will always have new ideas and find interesting things to mess around with. The world is an abundant place ;-)
And if I am delusional about my work's value to anybody other than me, well so be it. I'll fall off that cliff when I come to it. . .

I think these creative semi-crises are part of the creative process to some extent, and follow the classic bell curve of slow build up, tipping point/revelation and then slow build up again. Despite the psycho drama, work gets made, some of it not bad, I hope ;-)
Happy new Year,
Jon x

Been a long "Month". . . ;-) The Perrennial Sticky Subject - Pricing - Greed, Guilt and Overthinking

Well, I signed off my last post with the words, 'See you in a month' or something along those lines. Yeah right. . .  ;-)

I kind of lost a bit of enthusiasm and motivation for writing about what I have been doing. I just settled in to making stuff and selling it on Facebook, and repeat. . Things I could have talked about but never felt the urge to do so. I still posted on Instagram, and kept my Etsy shop ticking over but my blog was sidelined.

So, six months later, I am making the effort to post again.

Why? Well. . .

I am overthinking myself into a semi-catatonic state about pricing and the seeming necessity to justify same. And I need to work out what is bothering me and why. . . And I need to bore you with it too.

The trouble is that when I make one of my larger, assemblage style pieces, and feel that said piece is extra pretty damn special I want the price to reflect that, but don't feel I can get away with charging the price I feel like charging. Often I end up not putting the piece up for sale to avoid having to worry about how much to charge etc. . . Then it just sits there looking at me. . . ;-)

It feels like I am literally asking too much of my buyers. It doesn't feel 'right'. That it's somehow mercenary and demeaning to link financial value to my subjective opinion of a piece. I'm an artist, I should be above that worldly commercial stuff ;-)
But then again that is a pretty silly, naive, and unrealistic angle to take on what is a commercial decision. It betrays contradictory emotions about money and creativity. I make stuff in order to sell it, or at least with that possibility very much under consideration, I enjoy the process of selling and get a kick out of making, not huge, but certainly useful amounts of money every week, so why do I feel it is somehow wrong to want to ask for more when I deem it appropriate?





Is it lack of confidence? Because I might be wrong, and the piece in question is actually a load of rubbish and not special at all.
In which case nobody will buy it of course. .

Who do I think I am? Do I have an over inflated idea of what my creative efforts are worth?
Same answer as above.

Not wanting to appear greedy is definitely one reason. But then who is judging?
If something is considered too expensive nobody will buy it. Duh. . .

Another reason is that I seem to closely identify with the commercial consideration of the buyer. After all, they have to sell whatever they make using my work, at a profit, and I worry that they will be left with an expensive piece of jewellery that nobody will buy due to the price they have to charge, which will be all my fault! ;-)
In which event, of course, they will curse my name forever and never buy from me again.

So I feel somehow responsible for other people's actions and decisions, which is also silly, naive and unrealistic. . . though possibly faintly endearing, or just annoying. It annoys me!

So where are we? In a tangled mess, that's where. .

As you will no doubt have worked out ages ago, the obvious course of action this hand wringing and overthinking is pointing to is to shut the heck up, get over myself, charge whatever I feel is right and take the consequences.

Sorted. . .

Thank you for indulging my tortuous mental processes, it's been useful for me anyways ;-)

See you next time, could be sooner than you think. . Less than six months anyway.

Jon x

Visuals vs Verbals - New Stuff, Same Theme and New Hope for Unemployed Beads

It's funny how being busy creating stuff cuts down on my time and motivation for blogging. I feel like I have very little to say other than "Here's my new stuff, hope you like it." . . .
So far my fan base, if I am allowed to call it that, has been very supportive. Most things that I make and list, sell, which is why I have been busy creating stuff and not blogging. . .

I still find myself strongly responding to old/unemployed beads and found objects, so I haven't been experimenting with new poly clay things lately. I have some ideas backing up in my head, but they will have to join the queue of ideas there already.

Actually, 'Queue' is the wrong word really, it's a bit more anarchic than that. Whichever idea pushes it's way to the front tends to prevail ;-)

At present, things involving upcycled wire with objects attached seems to be my primary output. There is a lot of mileage in it, so I expect it to be my primary output for a while, but who knows how I may feel in the future?

I still have a supply of unused beads and electronic components to spark ideas from, so I imagine they will keep me going for a while yet. People seem to like what I do so that also encourages me to continue down my particular avenue.

Connectors is a new departure, though well within the aforementioned theme. . . Things in frames and the relationship between them is still a theme too.

Asymmetry and offset beads is another thing I still find interesting. It's also a nice way to use image transfer beads that I really liked but that never got much interest as beads in themselves.

Electronic components in fancy frames is a new variation too. They are so bead like, especially the ones in cool colours.

A wide frame gives the opportunity to explore repetition, which is something I am interested in too. These small, double sided, chunky, image transfer disk beads got repurposed in this framed connector thingy

And this Kangaroo bead I made a while ago using a retro rubber stamp from an old set I found in a charity shop got repurposed. I could never work out quite what to do with it before. It might still be less than useful, but we shall see. Maybe it will be big in Australia. . .

I'm still letting eccentric suggestions have their day. I have no idea what this is, but the organic beads and the bit of left over wire seemed to want to be combined somehow. Go with the flow, is what I say ;-)

Hope you enjoyed the pics and apologies for my lack of things to say. Maybe my art can speak for me even though I have no idea what it's saying . . .

Just When You Think You're Done With That Idea, Long Furrows and One Thing Leading To Another

Boing!

Just when I think a certain creative avenue has run its course, if avenues can be said to do that, something catches my attention and I'm off again. . . This time that something was these old springs from a knackered and previously mouse invaded and occupied armchair we eventually burned on the bonfire in the garden. The metal bits were left in the ashes, looking interesting, so I clipped a few of them out and took them into my workshop. On a whim I used them in a pair of drops/beads/dangles/pendants along with the usual upcycled wire grid stuff. They looked a bit nuts, in a good way, but I listed them on FB anyway as I figured they might raise a smile. They sold, and someone asked me to make two more pairs ;-) so smiles all round. . .

Digital Nouveau tile beads

I've been making variations on a theme rather than indulging in new explorations lately, which was why I was feeling that this furrow had perhaps been ploughed long enough and that I was in danger of repeating myself. But as with the old springs, some older rediscovered beads inspired some more interesting and creatively satisfying explorations.

Like use of more open wire structures and use of an almost traditional cross shape.

And the use of incised/scratched African influenced designs and a diagonal grid as a sort of 'loop'.

Some old two tiered earrings sparked the idea of twin beaded pendants on a rigid wire frame.

And some old faux ivory dragon teeth beads (from an online tut I read), two thin textured flake like beads and two electronic component thingies just seemed to work together once placed on a wire grid. There is something about the formality of a grid that seems to infer logic to the most illogical of combinations. I find this fascinating ;-)

I have picked up various bits of rabbit skeleton dug up from flowerbeds etc over the last year or so, and kept them aside as I liked the look of them. I also kept the filament from very old bulb/valve which had a mishap and broke. The two just seemed to go together once tied to a rigid frame. No idea how or why. Explanation is an unnecessary distraction. It either 'works' or it don't.  If I think it works it stays. . .

Taking the idea a bit further. .

A couple of very recent things. I love how the textured tube bead echoes the grey resistor or whatever it is. And the little black feet make me smile.

Old and new beads combine in another quite open frame to make something more than the sum of their parts. Which is the whole idea really isn't it?

Anyway, until next time, 

cheers, 

Jon x