Holding Back and Falling Off a Cliff

This Holiday/Christmas/Other break, as well as being a pleasant bit of family time and chilling out time, has been quite useful as regards the space it provided for contemplation and for gaining perspective about creative work. For me anyway.

I don't feel massively renewed and refreshed necessarily, but I do feel that I've gained a bit of insight into my creative process that might help me, 'going forward' as they say.

I have come to realise that I hold things back. This seems to be out of a sense of anxiety.
It appears that I need to have something 'in reserve' to bring out if 'all else fails'. Something that serves, in my mind at least, as a kind of creative insurance policy. A fence between me and the void. . .
It's not the most sensible thing to do, as whatever it is that I have in reserve may not be the killer sure thing I imagine it to be at all. And if it fails then that's my supposed parachute shot full of holes and me making an unpleasantly close and very swift acquaintance with the cold hard ground. . .

It all comes from fear I think, deep down somewhere there is a fear of . . Well, I'm not sure quite what. Not failure as such, maybe fear of finding out that I was delusional all along and really my work is total rubbish ;-) Or that those that have approved of and followed my work will suddenly realise that they were also delusional. . .
(Actually that fear, at various levels of severity,  is quite common amongst artists I have spoken to over the years. Rationality is not us. . .)

This revelation regarding undue and unnecessary retention of creative work came about from a growing and persistent feeling of being blocked, by myself. Not wanting to make something because it wasn't what I felt I 'should be' making. Or not wanting to put something up for sale as 'nobody would like it' or 'it doesn't feel right' or because now is not the time somehow. Though exactly what I think I am waiting for and why is by no means clear.

(Beware of the concept 'should be', it's you imagining an outside observer judging your behaviour and output. No such judgemental outside entity exists and even if it did, you could never accurately predict such an entity's opinions. So don't go there. . . Easily said mind. .)

This led me to notice that I was holding various components back when making pieces, being retentive about some particular found or made object because whatever idea I had at that moment about how to use it might not be the best use for it. It wouldn't be using it to its best advantage. Maybe I would have a better idea at some amorphous and unspecified time in what is generally known as 'The Future'.
Anyone else do this?

It all comes from a place of fear and lack, as if I will never find or make another object as good. As if the supply of interesting and usable objects in the world will run out, or as if inspiration is actually finite.
This mindset is obviously unhelpful, but thankfully, once noticed can be combatted.

In future, I intend to be less uptight about what I make, I shall use that 'precious' component and then move on. I will always have new ideas and find interesting things to mess around with. The world is an abundant place ;-)
And if I am delusional about my work's value to anybody other than me, well so be it. I'll fall off that cliff when I come to it. . .

I think these creative semi-crises are part of the creative process to some extent, and follow the classic bell curve of slow build up, tipping point/revelation and then slow build up again. Despite the psycho drama, work gets made, some of it not bad, I hope ;-)
Happy new Year,
Jon x

The Ups and Downs of Retail, A New Venture and The Wife in a Wheelbarrow. .

A bit of a gap between posts again, so sorry about that. I am slowly getting into the habit of blogging again. I heard on the radio that blogging is becoming more popular again, I wouldn't know about that, not exactly having my finger on the pulse of these things these days, but if true I applaud this trend.

Anyway, having been thoroughly spoiled by my work selling really well on Facebook over the last 12 months or so, I have had a couple of evening listing sessions that have been somewhat lacklustre. Not that I actually expect to sell out of my ten or twelve items every time but I must have got used to it at some level because I felt rather bereft when only two or three things sold. Bloody artists fragile ego again ;-)

Well, retail has its ups and downs I'm told.

The worrying part of this for me is that I just signed myself up for a 'Showcase' on the 26th at -

https://www.facebook.com/groups/LBAGalleriaSellersGroup

And if levels of interest are as low as the last week it could be a bit of a disappointment.

Distressed Digital Mid Century pus LEDs

The other thing is that it starts at what is a reasonable time for those in the USA but a silly time for me here in the UK. I'm not going to be kicking off my show at flamin midnight, thank you very much. I'll be in bed asleep! So I will list when I get up in the morning, which will be when most of my USA buyers will be in bed asleep. . . Sigh. . . And it finishes at midnight the next day, which is early evening for USA people, and probably the time they start to go online. Moan, groan, whinge. . .

Simple rustic spikes

So not ideal but we'll see what happens. I have made some very nice things to list so if you are around on the 26th Nov any time between 7.30 a.m. UK time (2 or 3 a.m. approx. various USA time zones) until midnight UK time (6 or 7 p.m. various US time zones) check it out.

Another model railway figure piece

Just to add to stress levels, my wife slipped on a bit of tiled floor and hurt her foot badly, she couldn't put weight on it and it started to swell up. As it was Sunday night we decided to wait and hit the A&E dept at the local hospital the next day if it was still bad in the morning. The thing was, she had to get over to her studio, across the yard to use her computer to email an Art group that were expecting her to take a workshop the next day. Obviously it had to be cancelled.

We don't have any crutches lying about the place, so we tried a walking stick, no good, a broom, improvised as a crutch, no good.  . . I was debating trying to give her a piggy back across the yard when we remembered the wheelbarrow ;-)
So I trundled her across the yard. Luckily it was a clean wheelbarrow, and luckily we are not overlooked. . . It did add some levity to a somewhat fraught occasion.
We got to A&E the next day and she had x-rays etc. Nothing broken thank heaven but she needed crutches for a day or two.
I also managed to put my back out helping her get around, but not badly. . Fun times ;-)

Is it a Bird?

Anyway, on a positive note, our pond has been refilling in all the wet weather we have been having. it almost completely dried out in the summer, which was worrying. The geese weren't happy either. So now we have a reason to feel pleased when it rains, and so do the geese ;-)

Digital Mid Century. .

Wish me luck with the showcase, and have a good Thanksgiving all you USA folks.

Jon x

Spikes Revisited, It's Not The Putting On It's The Wiping Off, More Beads and Happy Accidents

After a few months of working on other things, I had an urge to make some more spikes using my turned look technique. They always sold well so that was another reason to return to them. 

I never quite know what colours I will use until I start painting, and because I use alcohol inks I have the option of layering colours and diffusing them with rubbing alcohol. You can get nice blends this way.

The other cool thing about alcohol inks is that they subtly and not so subtly change colour when diluted. They seem to be dye based and have a sort of base colour that lies under the main colour which is revealed when you paint over it with rubbing alcohol, or a paler ink colour. For instance, some shades of brown revert to a sort of light blue, which seems strange but can look good.

I also find that wiping the ink off gently with a cloth reveals this under/base colour too. It also is a way of softening the hard line that forms where two areas of ink meet. It's fun to experiment with this, and that way learn a bit about the quirks of the medium. You can then use said quirks to your advantage.

I have been messing about with acrylic paints and acrylic inks too. Combining them with alcohol inks and wiping bits off here and there. An idea triggered by what turned out to be a happy accident with some rubbing alcohol ;-)

It's a bit drastic at first but a gentler touch makes the effect a bit more subtle. I'm a bit obsessed with it right now so various distressed looking beads and spikes will no doubt appear in my listings before long. . .

Oh yeah, and I also found a good background to photograph things against. An old roofing slate from the treasure trove of inspiration that lurks behind our shed. . ;-) It makes colour matching in Pshop or equivalent so much easier too, white backgrounds are OK but they are a pig to get right colour wise. So many of my shots against white had a pinky tinged or a bluey tinged background even though the bead colour was pretty accurate.

Thanks for checking out the way my work is heading. More in about a month's time.

best,

Jon x

Electronic Possibilities, An Embarrassment of Wire, Daft Ducks and Actual, Bona Fide, non pretend Spring!

Cool components. . .

Well, it's been a while. . . Life has got in the way somewhat over the last week or two. My father in law passed away and we had to go up to Yorkshire for the funeral and to sort things out.

Anyway, putting emotional stuff etc aside, part of that process was sorting through stuff in the house to see what should be salvaged and what should be left to the house clearance people. He was a model train enthusiast and was an electronics engineer in his working days so there was a lot of related bits and pieces to deal with as well as the usual furniture, pots and pans and books.

The long and the short of it is that I have rescued loads of electronic components that look like they are dying to be up cycled as jewellery components. Little tubes with coloured stripes etc. I have no idea, and no interest in what the stripes signify, I know it's code for wattage/amperage/whateverage but I just like the way they look. I look forward to finding out how they might inspire future work.

Continuing on from the 'free wire' mentioned in my previous post, there were about twenty or so 100 metre reels of coated copper wire in the attic. Just the right size, once the coating is cut off, for making loops and bails. I rescued 4 reels, so now I have 400 metres of wire to play with! That should last a week or two ;-) It might even inspire me to actually spark up the butane torch I got a year and a half ago and learn a bit of basic soldering etc. . . .

Other news, as if you really want to know ;-) I am signed up, with my wife, (excellent watercolour artist and tutor) to Norfolk Open Studios, which happens in May. I shall be exhibiting my ceramic tile stuff and some prints of my digital abstract stuff as well as some bits of jewellery. This requires me to actually make some jewellery, which is not something I have done for a while. But it is something I increasingly feel I need to explore, to find my 'voice' in a jewellery context, so a deadline might be the kick up the rear I need to get stuck in to it. I don't think bead buyers would necessarily be amongst open studio visitors so I need a way of showing what I do that non beady people might respond to more readily.

Actual Spring sunshine, photographic evidence thereof. .

Spring is actually not only here, but showing physical signs of being here rather than being a sort of winter with added daffodils. I actually ate breakfast, sitting in the sun in the garden today. Wonderful!

Vast tracts of grass, cut with the small mower as the sit-on can't deal with long grass.

And it was actually dry enough to cut the grass! We've had more than two days without rain! Unbelievable! I can actually plant some things in the veg garden. . .

Because we haven't been using the garden door, due to the weather, a duck has decided that the flowerbed just next to the path, just outside the door would be a good place to make a nest. . . sigh.

Ill advised duck on ill sited nest

Oh well, it will have to put up with us walking past from time to time, I'm not going to make silly allowances for a not altogether well thought through duck's nest. So far she seems ok with the arrangement. Not sure what will happen if ducklings result, we have three cats. . . Last year the ducklings lasted about four days (!) and we didn't have cats then, just barn owls, tawny owls, kestrels, sparrow hawks and possibly foxes. Doesn't bear thinking about.

Texture beads - sold

Now we are back from Yorkshire and almost recovered from all the hectic doing, I have had some time in the workshop to make some things. Easing myself back into it all.

I made some spikes and some textured beads and plan on making a lot more stuff.

If I am going to make necklaces etc for the upcoming open studios, I will need plenty of beads. . . So I have ordered some large blocks of Cernit. I am rolling my sleeves up in readiness and doing gentle warming up exercises. . .

No doubt you will hear all about it in due course. . . ;-)

Jon x

Mid Century Primitive spikes, the only ones pictured here that didn't sell. Well I like 'em.

Spikes, Car Trouble, Rationalising Bead Boxes and Appreciating Past Efforts

Well, this is a bit late, as I try to post every ten days, but we took a short break for our combined birthdays and various DIY things happened too. But I did get some time in my workshop despite all that. 

I sold a bunch more spikes things on Facebook last week. So I am feeling appreciated ;-) These pictured below are some of they. .

On a less happy note, I managed to reverse into a friend's car on our drive a day or two ago, so the feeling of being appreciated is only transient. . . An insurance job, as it bent the front wing and cracked the lens on the headlight. My car was merely scratched a bit. 

Oh well, there goes me no claims bonus for a while. The rear visibility is not good in my car, but that is a poor excuse.

To bore you further, said car has done 100k miles, so I splashed out for a service. The mechanic asked me when the cam belt (I don't know either) had been changed, I said as far as I knew, I didn't think it had, so he looked it up in the manual. It contained the interesting information that it should have been changed 40k miles ago. . . So I have been pushing my luck apparently.

Back to bead matters - I have been sorting out my various bead boxes, in conjunction with checking my laptop, with a view to working out which beads have been listed on Etsy, which have expired, and which never got as far as being listed in the first place. There are surprising number of things that aren't in my shop. I am going to start remedying that situation forthwith.

It's been nice seeing some old friends lurking in their little compartments. Some things I was, and still am quite proud of. I always learn something from looking at what I was doing a year or so ago, it's easy to forget how far you have come in that period. And to realise what you have also forgotten, some it useful stuff that you would do well to remember.

Here are some of my new spikes, for sale in the LBA Galleria Elementals group on Facebook. Only a glimmer of interest so far, but give it 24 hours and we'll see where we are.

On to more general stuff, like the weather. . . 

Time marches on, and as was the case this time last year, (and every other year I imagine) the aconites are out in the garden, and some snowdrops, some cyclamen and even some crocuses are coming out. The hazelnut trees have catkins hanging off them, and all sorts of daffodils and suchlike bulbs are determinedly pushing their way out of the ground. At least Spring seems like something that will happen in due course. I even heard a skylark singing the other day, when the sun broke through. Don't know what it was thinking. . .

Winter ain't over yet however. I don't mind, as long as it stops blooming' raining. This winter has just been sodden. Give me a crisp, cold day anytime instead of dismal wetness and uncomfortable blustery winds. . . Extreme weather? We get extremely dull. Hence no photos ;-)

Jon x

More Adventures in Ancientness, (if that's a word), in Solving The Unwelcome Pinkness of Black and in the Production of Spikes

Well, here I am, taking a deserved break in the laying of tiles and grouting of same, and taking the opportunity to share some of my recent creations with you.

But first, I would like to say a special 'hello' to the interestingly large number (percentage wise, pertaining to this blog) of Russian readers. ;-)

I'm told that 'Privet' is the correct greeting. Though in English it is the name of a type of shrub largely used for garden hedging. . . .
There are lot of excellent polymer clay artists in Russia, as any time spent on Facebook will show you. So - Privet!

Ancient look blue simple beads - SOLD

OK. 'Ancientness'. I am having fun playing with all sorts of things that can make the surface of a bead look ancient and crusty. Mainly it involves using stuff you can use as a barrier between inks and paints, and which will then wash off in water, leaving an interesting random pattern.
Well, that's all the handholding you get I'm afraid. Have a play with anything you have lying around that fits that description and see what you get ;-)

This sort of thing

Now for the unwelcome pinkness of black. I mentioned in a previous post about the tendency of black alcohol ink to revert to a pinky purple brown when either diluted a bit, or when the brush starts to run dry ( if you use a brush to apply it instead of just using the dropper/nozzle on the bottle).

It fades into pink purple when baked too.
Also varnish can kind of leach out an extra bit of pinkness if applied too enthusiastically.

This is a pain, as it turns the edges of the black and white into a purply pink smear instead of a lovely clean demarcation between black and white, so I have been messing about with mixing several colours to get a better, non-pink black. (I could use black acrylic paint, but I want the particular surface effects that alcohol inks give.)

Dark brown pinky black with pinky smears. . .

Dark blue and dark brown seem to be the best colours to mix, as the brown compensates for any purpleness in the blue, and the blue compensates for the redness in the brown. I tried adding a small amount of green too, as black is technically the sum of every colour. Well, in theory anyway.
Whatever, it worked pretty well. See below.

How much more black can they be? The answer is 'none more black'. . .

I hope you got the Spinal Tap reference ;-)

I have also made some more of my popular turned style spikes. I probably need to explore some different colours next though. Not that there is anything wrong with browns and blue greys ;-)

Anyway, until next time,
best,
Jon x